The Tenner bet did not get to watch the British and Irish Lions slump to defeat in the first Test against South Africa owing to a dispute with Sky Sports.
Essentially, the wrangle is this: I refuse to let my ears be offended by the whining sycophancy that only Sky Sports does best and stopped paying my bill some time ago (rest easy Mrs Tenner bet, this is what is called poetic license and the bill was paid years ago which, incidentally, is why we were watching Setanta instead - a masterplan I'm sure you'll agree).
As a Sky Sports refusenik, one has to embrace an abstemious existence. That means enjoying sports events by proxy, for example watching a five-frame slideshow of Ugo Monye's ill-fated try attempt in Durban last weekend or using possession statistics to imagine the ebb and flow of the game while playing successive rounds of Jenga to mimic the Lions scrum. Perversely, this adds a sense of realism which all the HD televisions in the world can not. Problems with this pursuit of realism arose, though, when Mrs Tenner bet discovered myself and 14 other team-mates sharing a communal bath after last Saturday's game. Well, this is rugby, after all.
There are positives, though. The commentary is your own, the impressions drawn are your own and any conclusions you may ascertain about which way the rest of the series might go are unfettered by jingoistic British analysts telling you otherwise.
Here are the simple facts: the Lions were headed for a mauling last Saturday until Peter de Villiers, the Springboks coach, decided it might be a good idea to rest half of his team; South Africa owned the Lions in the scrum until the mass substitutions - the kind of act one might imagine the manager of a boy's football team from Edinburgh indulging in so as to spare the feelings of the boys on the other team; Saturday's game is at 6000ft on the High Veldt, a place where oxygen is sold on a first come first served basis; and finally the Test hinges on who wins this match. Of those factors it is the altitude which should give most concerns to followers of the Lions.
Ian McGeechan began his preparations up in the mountains but they have since played two games at sea level and the received wisdom is that it takes eight games to adjust to playing at altitude - any advantage they gleaned from playing their initial games above sea level will have disappeared by they time they take to the field today.
Furthermore, the one area where the Lions were deemed dominant over the Springboks was in the scrum but the impotence shown in that discipline was all too obvious (those damn Jenga blocks just kept falling over) and they were easily contained by the South African forwards.
The Springboks are unbackable at a best-priced 1/7 to win this afternoon but at -13 in the handicap - and given the lead they had going into the final 23 minutes last weekend - they are worth serious consideration.
My 1970s Subbuteo rugby set has already been fished out of the attic in anticipation.
Selection South Africa -13pts to beat the British & Irish Lions (15/8, Stan James) Season's profit -£247.43
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