There can be few who have been unable to understand the pain and heartache suffered by the families of the fishermen lost on board the Peterhead-registered Sapphire a month ago.

Not only have they lost husbands, fathers, brothers, and sons, but they have been unable to say their own private farewells.

The Sapphire provided the men with their living but took their lives and now, it is thought, is their final resting place.

The nation has seen the families undergo the public ordeal of pleading, in tears, for the Government to raise the Sapphire and end their ''mental torture'', but so far their appeals have been rejected.

It is harrowing even to consider the thoughts of those left behind. Their loved ones lie just 12 miles from their homes ''only a stone's throw from the shore'' but apparently beyond reach. The wives and mothers do not have to imagine what the scene is like. They have watched, with great dignity, videos taken by a remote underwater vehicle which show the vessel lying on its starboard side in a seabed hollow. These photographs will remain etched in their minds for the rest of their lives as their last link with the fishermen.

But why should the Sapphire be lifted? Many a vessel has gone down before and there has been a quiet acceptance that the matter ended there.

Is the Sapphire a one-off because it lies so close to the shore, because it remains intact, because there is a giant North Sea barge available to lift it, or is there a changing set of circumstances which will bring demands for every vessel which sinks in the future to be raised? The SNP's Alex Salmond has fought valiantly on behalf of the bereaved, his constituents, to persuade the Government to lift the vessel.

It was one of the widows, Isobel Podlesny, who gave the Marine Accident Investigation Branch the co-ordinates of an oil slick spotted by another fishing vessel which led them to the wreck as they were on the point of calling off the operation. It was the families themselves who commissioned a feasibility survey into the recovery possibilities from the firm appointed by the MAIB to survey the scene.

Even if they fail in their efforts, they have highlighted the cruelty of having not only to cope with the loss but having to co-ordinate so much themselves because no-one is charged with the responsibility of investigating the feasibility of recovering

bodies in such circumstances.

Vessels have been raised in the past either as part of a police inquiry or to enable investigators to try to determine the cause of a tragedy although only one vessel has been raised in the past eight years, off Cornwall, as part of an MAIB investigation.

Antares, the fishing vessel which sank in the Clyde in 1990 with the loss of four crew after her nets were snagged by a submarine, was raised by the Royal Navy. Compassion has not normally been a valid reason for recovery.

Had the Sapphire been lost 20 years ago there might have been no question of raising her. Technological advances have made it easier to locate vessels and as a result of the North Sea oil industry the vessels capable of recovering them are now nearby.

''It is remarkable that if you climb a mountain and are lost or if you are fighting in the forces in the Falklands or the Gulf your body will be returned but if you are lost 12 miles off Peterhead that is not the case,'' said Alex Salmond.

So could the Royal Navy, who heroically carry out so many other rescue missions, become involved in helping recovering vessels? A spokesman said the only circumstances they could envisage would be as part of a training exercise and, although they had not been asked to intervene in the Sapphire incident, it was possible in some instances it could provide valuable training.

The oil industry is always quick to provide support in any North Sea emergency and a spokesman for the operators said that they received numerous requests for support in one way or another and each request had to be examined for short and long-term implications. Among fishing folk it is a sensitive issue.

''Death at sea is not something we ever discuss,'' said one veteran. ''Before every trip a full list of the crew must be filled out with their name, address, date of birth, and next of kin, and one copy is left at the skipper's house. Everyone knows why that is but they don't speak about it. Going to sea is a way of life. Women have always understood that when their men went off there was no guarantee they would come back. It was not like someone going to a factory at nine and returning at five. They accepted that just as their mothers before them accepted it, but I think things have changed. There is a different attitude among the women today who are perhaps better educated.

''In the past if a boat went down with no suspicious circumstances that was the end of it, possibly because there was no option. There are options now and that has changed things.''

In the House of Commons yesterday Shipping Minister Glenda Jackson said: ''The sea can be a cruel and exacting master. Since the loss of the Sapphire two further lives have been lost in fishing vessel accidents. My own family has paid these harsh dues to the sea in both peace and war.

''However cruel the sea may be, I believe it is, by virtue of those who have given their lives to it, not only a peaceful but an honourable, indeed noble, final resting place.''

''Many would agree with her,'' the fishermen said, ''but at the end of the day if the families want the boat lifted then that is what should happen.''

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